The Dirty Dick

A 311 request, for the day:

“Broken bottles, car-window bits, cigarette butts, poop – in every other planter or tree square two-three blocks from City Hall. What a disgrace! I put a request for something similar across the street [18 days ago, OK – this is why you keep receipts, people) and y’all couldn’t clean all the spots on the street? A waste of tax payer money and time to come once for the one spot that’s so obviously part of a much bigger and dirtier street.

“Today’s spot is on Eddy at Van & Eddy, the southwest corner. Some of us have pets, and it is ridiculous that this city, which likes to boast about being the most pet friendly in the country, can’t provide or maintain all of our parks* and smaller green spaces.”

This was the second neighborhood incident within five little minutes (petits minutes, I tell ya…five…cinq…cinco…🖐🏽) of leaving home to take our dog on a walk to the park.

Previously, a block before:

I had to ask, then school a brostastic (in his head) upwardly mobile-looking, decent-seeming dude, who had tossed his hot cigarette butt on the (wooden) temporary platform for the bus, a.k.a. my front door, without a single care in the world. Not a one. Not even when the butt bounced off the orange/white (plastic) separator thingy, which is technically someone’s property (maybe, even, public property…?). I mean, anyone could have poured anything on that shit (which should be better supervised, no?), but why would the little mister man give a fuck, right?

Because he doesn’t have to? He’s never had to? No one ever told him his trash should go in a trash can? I know that, I’ve always known that, and my parents had housekeepers back in Peru.

At first I tried nice and polite, firm but polite, asked him to make use of the trash receptacles…the few ones that we do have out on our streets (we need more). The one right there but a mere few yards away – a fucking veritable league above the sea, I imagine, for someone not set on doing the right thing. Pero when he had the caucacity to tell me, “That’s your building, this is the public way,” the bells of the church rang.

“Look, I tried to be nice and ask you, as a neighbor, to remember the trash cans because I live right there, but we all live right here. I live here, and you’re here, and she’s right there.” (A woman in podcast I should hope found this exchange of somewhat of interest, enough to listen and wonder whether she should record the shit, at least.) “And yeah, this is the public way, which is why now I’m going to be a cunt and tell you you’re a piece of shit. That’s your cigarette butt, that’s your trash, and I’m done with assholes like you throwing your shit everywhere for A) someone else to clean or B) for me to have to see right outside my door. Where the fuck do you think you are?”

Then he interrupted.

So I walked away, so as not to snatch his cell phone (his personality) out of his bony hand to throw it near the cigarette butt. Schooling a punk? Happy to. Having a snowflake’s meltdown lead to a 911 call not of my own placing, nah. I’m good walking away, while still calling someone a dirty dick, and yelling out real loud he might wanna clear the pepper out of his stupid-ass teeth. The dirty dick.

I mean, what did ever happen to class? Bay Area, what’s good? And what can I say? #DoMore? No, please, don’t do more of what you’re doing when you carelessly throw your trash on the street like this (or, urgh, when y’all don’t take your old mattresses to a dump like adults), but do better. Think. Think about the Golden Rule.

Golden Rule. Golden ticket. Willy Wonka. Chocolate. A treat! People take care of their cities and neighborhoods and neighbors get to treat themselves to a treat. Get!

What can I say. Finally enough love for San Francisco.



* And about the parks, Jefferson Square could use some TLC. It could use water fountains. Waste/recycling receptacles. Restrooms (it is not only the unhoused and ill on the street who pee and poop outside, OK…sunbathers do it, too, and, que verguenza si son turistas). A properly fenced dog area. Like Lafayette Park.  Make it nice, like Hayes Valley, like Dolores Park.

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