Edited from “Oh, M…Oh, Miami” x Movie Martin, Nov. 20, 2012, for @fileunderm and 2025
So I know what I’m getting Madonna for the holidays: a watch.
Look, I love my Queen like, in ways that cannot be good for me. The woman’s phenomenal. She’s fun. An individual. And a ball-buster who, at 54, still can dance and sing, get up, and do her thing better than most of the little bitches half her age. But M can’t tell time. Or – 30 years into a massively successful career – she won’t acknowledge it anymore. ’Cause gf was three and a half hours late to the first of her two nights in Miami, the last American stop of her “MDNA Tour” – and the Magic City wa’n’t having it.
I get it. I’m a sinner and I like it her way, but I get it.
What could have been som’in’ cute or edgy or whathaveya, at some point in Madonna’s career, just wasn’t last night, and it certainly didn’t cut it. Miami was rightfully pissed, and its booing only got louder as the clock ticked closer to midnight. Yo – I was getting testy. Paul Oakenfold (pictured here) did a hell of a good job fluffing the crowd, but not long after he finished his set, the energy began to dwindle and, unless you were a Golden Triangle Bitch or yours truly (truly!), you probably had lost your M boner by the time the girl finally decided she’d go wild.
I mean, it was a Monday night. And the point is for someone that likes to take pride in never taking her fans for granted, Madonna sure didn’t act like it. For whatever reason(s).
Naughty Queen.
Shame, too, because the Miami shows were being recorded for the DVD of the tour. You know you’re deep in the hole when neither “Vogue” or “Like a Prayer” can get an entire arena full of people up on their feet. I could tell M was happy to be back in her old neck of the woods (she said as much), but, dayum, she sure wasn’t feeling Miami’s L-U-V (she hinted as much). And it threw her a little there toward the end.
So tonight, as the Queen takes the stage, when she finally does and the cameras are rolling, make some noise, Miami. Don’t just sit there…get to it. She wants to take you there, so enjoy.
Update: I think Madonna totally should add “Superstar” to her set list. That song would fit som’in’ fierce in that second, two-song section of the concert; what else could have been in there, I will always wonder.
King of Cups 