Of goop and Me(n)

I listen to The goop Podcast, when I need to nurture my feminine side.

Whoomp, there it is.

And I gotta say, the recent conversation between Gwyneth Paltrow and Gabrielle Union was such a “J’ai eu un flash” moment. Union spoke to so much to which I could relate. And it helped, simply listening to these two women talk about these feelings, and these emotions, and this kind of struggle. It made me want to light a candle.

As the man that I am now, I know I have a strong feminine side. This particular facet of my being got me mocked as a kid in school, as well as in familial environments, where I unfortch wasn’t quite understood or supported in the most enlightened of ways (although and so, I got everything, most everything else I needed or wanted). It turned me into a hard person. It changed me, continuously. It made me vulnerable to predators and vultures. It made me fly far, far away. It reduced me and it taught me to hide, how to put on a show.

Well, this clown wants a new act. Because my feminine side got me through, in spite of it all. And it’s time for that kid who survived and made it through the wilderness to go, for I long to celebrate the me that I’ve become.

I cannot wait to guide yours truly into an even better, kinder, stronger version of myself and venture into tomorrows full of opportunity, fulfillment, and abundance.

Some time after settling in Miami Beach in the years 2000, I visited the 9th Chakra that used to be on Lincoln Road proper, when it was off Michigan Avenue, if memory serves (and it does). I got a reading there, because I was twentysomething and curious. I don’t think I got much out of the experience, other than my reader remarked on the strong feminine energy around me. At the time, I thought she picked up on my having grown up surrounded by sisters of different ages, girl friends, a rotating Greek chorus of aunts, a strong and complex mother, and two significant grandmothers, one of whom already was gone at the time but who had left me with a sweet, vivid memory or two. I chucked it to that, because you are what you eat and you are your people.

But now I understand.

My feminine side doesn’t make me any of the hurtful, nasty, fearful and unoriginal things I was told I was. It never did. My feminine side is a part of my whole being, and it complements my masculine side, and, y’ know, it might be my better side because it represents my village of friends and family, of love.

So I release and let go of the hurt kid within, and hope that my two sides can now step a little closer to what’s coming, in concert and in harmony, because it’s time to shine.

To the men reading this…goop it up! Do something “girly.” Remember how you were feelin’ before that time your feminine side got crushed and do that thing again and anew, with love. With love for yourself and anyone who has ever wanted simply to be and everyone who tried to stand in your way, too.

I tell ya, I sure am glad I signed up for G.P.’s original newsletters – for her pasta recipes! – way back when.

#Iclosemyeyes…and I can see it and I can feel it, the pain. I open my eyes and I see the truth.

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