Facebook

We need to have a conversation about privacy and decorum, don’t we, 12 years after Mark Zuckerberg roped us and the culture into his soul-sucking Facebook (which does not know its references, either).

I mean, what the fuck are we doing?

Remember that white lady, you know the one…the one, who recently weaponized her privilege to call 911 on a black gentleman at Central Park in New York? You probably knew this, but all the while she was recording the man, and actively, knowingly lying to the emergency service and effectively threatening that man’s life with the NYPD, and being recorded by the man, she had her dog with her, a cocker spaniel named Henry with a healthy following on Instagram (that chick apparently writes the posts…in the voice of the dog). The crux of that illuminating incident is she had let her dog off leash in a birding, leashes-on spot of the park, right.

How out of touch must she be that she did not realize – or cared to realize – that once she managed to leash the poor pooch, through all the bullshit she was creating and spewing, that she was pulling on the leash like a maniac, hurting her little rescue.

This, like the killing of George Floyd, happened on Memorial Day, too, btw. The dog was taken away from her for a check-up, getting spared all the backlash and more of her situation, thank goodness for small miracles.

Except today it was reported that gal pal got her dog back. Because white privilege.

Anyway. When, fingers crossed, our more enlightened descendants discuss us, I shudder as I predict they might be shocked and appalled and condescendingly amused that we spent so much fucking time doing something so moronic. Becoming morons. Becoming unmoored.

People with much less than us accomplished so much more throughout the centuries leading up to this moment. What will we have to show for it? A meaningless timeline that runs from silly cat videos to the horrors of a race riot provoked by a compromised – and impeached – commander-in-chief in 2020. I’m ashamed I paid Facebook so much consequence because, clearly, they suck.

Proud to say I deactivated that shit this week, though.

Fuck Facebook. Immediately it added nothing but heartbreak and aggravation to my life. The FOMO was real, what can I say. I didn’t sort out that it started as an aggressively wannabe-bro-y rate-the-co-eds exercise to feed the ego of a privileged little white boy until The Social Network came out in 2010, and by then, the crazy ship had left the station.

Class died when Facebook crashed the scene. And now cities are on fire because of a Donald Trump-sponsored white nationalism that has gone viral. Zuckerberg has let, is letting, and will let Trump get away with whatever he pleases because both have a warped sense of self and of their contribution and of their being, role, and place.

How did the Zucks and that orange hemorrhoid dickmatize us so?

Reclaim your time and your life. All hands on deck are needed IRL.

Our self-realization will not stream online.